Happy New Year

The Bench Sitters had another wonderful Christmas, with a few minor exceptions.  These guys have been around long enough to learn what some of the most valuable gifts any person can receive when Christmas rolls around.

Those include the right to worship as each might want . . . awareness we have been blessed to live in the right country at the right time in history . . . freedom and an understanding of family, caring for others less fortunate and the opportunity to do the right thing when we are called on.

The old comparison of the years of life being like the roll of toilet tissue . . . going faster as the end gets near, is certainly true for many of us. It doesn’t seem possible 2019 has flown by

And we hope 2020 will be a year of good things for each of the readers of this column.

Last week when things were slow at the coffee shop, one of the better read members used a word that was strange to most of us.

He was talking about “aphorisms.”

Most of us thought that was a mite or parasite that caused cattle to itch and rub all the bark off of trees.

But our expert explained, “Aphorisms are distinct from axioms. Aphorisms generally originate from experience and custom, whereas axioms are self-evident truths and require no additional proof.

“A famous example is: Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

He entertained us with a few other examples that included:

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs or coffins.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. …

For example, it could be the right number. (Think about this one!)

No one ever says. “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

I’ve reached the age where “happy hour” is a nap.

Be careful about reading the fine print - there’s no way you’re going to like it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can’t buy happiness, but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.

After 70, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.

Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones that mind don’t matter.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

We all hope the New Year will be filled with many gifts of life for all.


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