Can you believe the Bench Sitters didn’t have a comment about the election this week? They talked it over and decided you folks have already heard enough. They did agree it seemed the campaigning went on for at least five years.

Now if things will improve so there is no reason to talk about COVID. Then important things like UW football, elk hunting and lower digestive problems can be the subjects of the day for this group.

Right now they are mostly hunkered down in an attempt to avoid this virus. One of them said it best . . . “I know a lot of people don’t get that sick, but I’m usually not that lucky either.”

This week a friend in South Dakota sent along a few items he calls “Apolitical Aphorisms” or wonderful comments anyone can enjoy. Most seem timely.

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. – Oscar Ameringer

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. – Jay Leno

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. – Henry Cate 

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. – Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. –Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. – Nikita Khrushchev

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. – John Quinton

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. – Tex Guinan

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. – Doug Larson

We used to say . . . “meanwhile, back down on the Main Drag” when we were adding to this column.  But now it’s more like, “guess what I found on the internet.”

And this week one of the Bench Sitters claims he overheard a local claiming 62% of the people who have gym memberships don’t know the gym was closed for several months.

He also told us he had a friend who was pretty sick for a few weeks.  He saw him at the grocery store and said, “It’s good to see you back on your feet again.”

The guy looked at him and said, “How did you know I missed three payments on my pickup?”

Even some of the Bench Sitters are starting to communicate with smartphones or computers. These are old curmudgeons who claimed they never would stoop to that level. 

But last week we heard one say, “Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the ‘cool table’ in a mental hospital.”

He might be right.

 We hope you enjoy a few more days of nice fall weather.  It looks like things are about to change.  And . . . we’ll drop a line again next week.


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