That “spring feeling” slipped a little the first part of this week when cold winds were blowing some snow around the village.

Went to coffee early Monday morning and told the boys the wind was so bad Sunday afternoon that it was blowing some of the fish out of Clear Creek.

“Maudie and I had to run around with five gallon buckets to gather them up off the lawn and toss ‘em back in the creek.”

Then one of the doubters said he didn’t believe that story. I had to explain it was only partly true.

“It wasn’t blowing the big ones out of the creek, and we didn’t find anything larger than a three-pound German brown.”

A few people have tulips showing up on the south side of their houses, and the lawns have replaced the browns of winter with bright greens of spring.

And speaking of tulips, we learned that Frank Peck (who “retired” from the maintenance crew of the Highway Department – but has continued to work part time) made a pronouncement a while back that he would “clean out his locker” when the first tulips started to bloom this spring.

Then he went to work one day and found a box of tulips sitting in front of his locker.  

“So I just gathered my stuff up and started making plans for a relaxing summer” says Frank with a grin.

His coffee buddies know he’ll be back helping WYDOT out again next fall.

We see hundreds of local kids have dug their baseball gloves out of the closet and the season is quickly getting underway in spite of a little spring storm.

It is a short season for the local programs, but “not that short” if you ask parents, grandparents and other relatives who hold down bleacher seats at the ball park two or more evenings each week.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, one of Sven’s readers sent these thoughts along.

A few years ago, at a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $1,000 cars that get 500 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash … twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this as a strange new fact of life.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only 5% of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “THIS CAR HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION” warning light.

7. During a collision, the airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and put one foot on the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner.

10. When all else fails, you would call customer service in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car.

Not a lot more to report around the village this week.  The Bench Sitters claim they can guarantee it’s time to put the snow shovel away and try to get the weed-eater started again. We will drop a line again next week.


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