Sven golfing

What happened to April? A lot of local families in semi-quarantine had time to come up with some great “April Fools” pranks. 

One of the best we heard about was a fake notice from Gov. Mark Gordon announcing Wyoming schools would be closed for the remainder of the year and that all students from kindergarten to the 12th grade would be required to repeat their current grade.

Now that brought a few tears from younger ones before they realized it was a joke.

For most of us this was the first time in our lives we didn’t celebrate Easter by attending church services and having family gatherings.

Sometimes the days seem to drag when there is no place to go, but April is going to be history far too quick.

A couple of the Bench Sitters noticed recent warm weather has brought out box elder bugs, motorcycles, lawn mowers and golfers.

We had heard the golfers were supposed to keep at least a club distance from each other. But that must have meant a “club sandwich” apart as they were riding two to a cart.

And the boys on the bridge are all starting to look like the “hippies” of the ’70s with ever-longer hair hanging over their ears and down the back of their necks. Most haven’t been able to grow a new “crop on top” however.

“If you thought toilet paper was hard to get . . . just wait until you try to get a haircut when this is over,” one of the regulars said.

He was all smiles when he bragged that his pickup was now getting “three weeks to the gallon.”

And he claims being around the house all day has nurtured his relationship with his wife. He woke up last Tuesday night and she had a pillow over his face to protect him from the virus.

A few days ago Maudie noticed a message was blinking on the phone at the house. 

Some guy said he wanted to talk to us about “a wonderful investment opportunity.” He asked us to call and leave a message so he could contact us again.

“You are one of the few selected for this opportunity, and it won’t be available much longer,” the recording said.

Not being too busy, I dialed the number he gave, and told him we had not had a chance to visit with anyone for more than 10 days and I was very anxious for him to call so we could have a good long talk.

For some reason he didn’t call back.

Having extra time has allowed a lot of people to clean out those kitchen drawers, the closet in the hall and dig a few things out of the basement.

Now people are running classified and internet ads for things like crystal ash trays, Polaroid cameras, pogo-sticks, used flip-phones, “thigh-crunchers” and exercise equipment you can hang over the closet door or slide under the living room couch. 

One drawer was so full we had a hard time closing it. Cleaning that one was like taking a personal trip into history. Old business cards, the start of a swizzle stick collection and black napkins and party plates for a 60th birthday. Those plastic plates were pretty brittle.

Not surprising since they have been in the drawer for 15 years.

And finally we noticed Clear Creek was sure getting high as temperatures got near 80 degrees. The weather guys are telling us La Nina will bring a hot summer for this area.

We didn’t need any more “less than good news,” but the Bench Sitters will keep looking for the brighter side before they write again next week.

SVEN

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