The weather wasn’t great, but a good sized crowd turned out for the annual Memorial Day ceremonies Monday morning.

A couple of the Bench Sitters who are veterans noticed the organizers looked at the weather forecast and cancelled the “parade” and ceremony at the monument located at Fort and Main. It was going to rain.

But it didn’t rain.

They decided to go ahead with the program at Willow Grove . . . and it did rain.

One of those old soldiers remarked . . . “This is just about exactly how things worked when I was in the Army.”

On Tuesday of this week there were a lot of people keeping a close eye on the creeks in the area. When this column was being written, the weatherman was telling folks we could get over two inches of rain on top of a lot of wet snow on the mountain.

By know we’ll know how that worked out.

We are starting to see more tourists around the village in the past week or two.  It’s good to see the local eating spots and motels busy after a long, cold winter. And it seems like many visitors are interested in the history of the area, and often ask questions about the local environment we never heard in past years.

They want to know about things like sagebrush, geological features, cottonwood trees and local commerce.

A few locals who deal with these visitors smile and explain that “Siri” doesn’t always have all the answers.

It was fun at coffee earlier this week when some of the boys started talking about rules we need to follow this year. (We think some of the inspiration comes from the late George Carlin).

We need to shut down “!”  There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years: Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, you already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days ­– mowing your lawn.

Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Most men only care that you have two.

The more complicated the lunch order, the bigger the jerk. Just tell them you want a burger and take a chance it will be “cooked medium, light on the onions, extra lettuce, only one slice of tomato and not too many fries.”

Just because your kid’s tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make him spiritual. It probably translates to “beef with broccoli.” 

No more gift registries. Having them for graduations, birthdays, babies, retirement or changing spouses is just another version of “looting.”

When someone asks how old you are don’t say 92 on my next birthday. Not everyone is good at math.  And they didn’t care in the first place.

If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then wear a long shirt over the tattoos, remove the nose ring and use “awesome, amazing, right-on, oh really and outstanding” as few times as possible during the interview.

Not a lot more to report this week other than school will soon be out for the summer. If the weather changes baseball season will get rolling and it won’t be long before the city fills the swimming pool.

It may be a few weeks before the water is warm enough to pass from “numbing” and into “wow that’s pretty cold.”

We hope you have found a chance to mow the lawn and till the garden. Growing seasons seem to go from cold to quite hot in a hurry.

Hang in there and we’ll write again next week.


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